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Talk about sex, and you will always find people to fudge the numbers. They would edit up the number of dating partners, brag about penis sizes, and exaggerate the length of each lovemaking session. Science cannot tell much about it either because every person is different, but it seems it has some answers regarding how frequently couples have sex.
According to a 2017 study, the average adult engages in sex 54 times a year. In other words, couples and dating partners have sex about once a week. To some, this may not sound a lot, but the truth is that it all changes from person to person. So many factors can also have an impact on how often dating partners engage in lovemaking activities. There may be a change owing to the lifestyle, age, and each partner's health. It also depends on how high each partner's natural libido is. And, of course, the quality of their relationship matters as well.
Couples who stop having sex altogether may notice issues, for their relationships tend to become vulnerable to detachment, anger, and infidelity. Whether you are dating or in a relationship, it is good to have sex more often. For instance, it keeps your immune system humming and helps you have fewer sick days. Sex and dating experts believe that couples who have sex enjoy higher levels of a certain antibody that protects them from viruses, germs, and other intruders.
Similarly, frequent intercourse helps women have better bladder control because sexual intercourse stimulates the pelvic floor muscles. Having an orgasm will contract those muscles and strengthen them over time. Moreover, researchers have found a connection between a good lovemaking session and blood pressure – intercourse helps lower systolic blood pressure.
As mentioned already, once a week is the most commonly accepted baseline for having sex, but there can be variations to this rule for married couples and dating partners. For instance, it often comes down to the age of both partners involved in a relationship. For 40- and 50-year-olds, once a week is a norm, but the average goes up to twice a week for 20- to 30- year olds.
While you may want to know what is considered "normal," you must not rely on it as a metric for your own love life. After all, experts come across couples who fall on different parts of the sex spectrum, with some of them not engaging in intercourse while other married couples have it 12-14 times a week. If you are not having sex as often, it could be because you or your partner may not be enjoying it that much. Fortunately, it can be dealt with to improve your sex life.
A good way to enjoy lovemaking more is to plan your sessions better. Some couples think sex needs to be fueled by sudden desire and needs to be spontaneous, but that is not the reality. You need to break free from this prevailing idea and plan things better, especially when you have kids or commitments. Similarly, you need to work on matching your partner's desire to have sex. Couples often face relationship problems because one partner has a higher libido and the other one does nothing to meet their expectations. It is often a blow to the other partner's self-esteem, and sometimes, they try to "fill the void" by joining hookup dating sites and finding new partners.
To enjoy it more, married couples need to engage in honest "intimate communication" and be transparent about making them feel unsatisfied. Sometimes, all you need to do is be sexually more assertive and expressive to improve your love life. If there are health concerns, seeking the right treatment and advice may help. Sometimes, having "different kinds of sex" can work wonders. You can work on making non-penetrative sexual activities more pleasurable. It is usually the way to go for people in their 70s or 80s – and it is equally beneficial for LGBTQ couples.
In the end, it all boils down to the fact that statistics are there to show you what is considered "normal" regarding how frequently couples should have intercourse. Understand that other people's sex lives may not be relevant to your own. What matters is how you and your married partner feel about your sex life. Communicate better and address the underlying issues and emotions, even if that means working with a couple's counselor, a personal therapist, or a sex therapist.
